A Micro B'day Party For 2.
- Jessica Johnson, IndieLove Magazine
- Apr 10, 2016
- 2 min read
When Smaller is Better…
A Micro b-day party for 2 planning manual for the broke and the socially anxious
by Jessica Johnson
At some point you may find yourself loving a person who has a birthday.
Not everyone hates their birthdays.
There might be a party at a lobster restaurant. You might be deathly allergic to shellfish. Or three of your exes are going and they’re bringing their new love interests. Or you’ve been getting anxiety attacks during car trips lasting longer than five minutes and the lobster restaurant is on the other side of town. Perhaps you’ve done away with a few of your filthier habits and everyone else going has not.
You’ll just show your friend you care… without leaving your house… by having a phenomenal gift delivered to his house! Something SO amazing no one would say ANYTHING about your not attending said party at lobster restaurant! SAVED.
WAIT. You can’t afford this. You hate the situation. You hate everyone. Why can’t he just hate his birthdays and demand no one ever acknowledge them, like your Uncle Ray?
Pull yourself together. Show your love with a Micro b-day party for 2.
Just you and the birthday boy. Or girl.
1. Collect supplies for birthday headdress from the nearby craft store. Paper cone vs. flower crown? Whatever seems appropriate. Load up on floral wire, fake birds, and LED lights with battery packs. The more elaborate the hat, the better. Unless your friend’s a minimalist, in which case, focus on one main decorative statement. Swing by somewhere that sells balloons. Select a helium balloon in your friend’s favorite color.
2. Get a couple of shirts from Goodwill. Prepare to deface them with puffy paint and/or fabric markers. Or just permanent markers. Design shirts for each other with scissors and writing implements. If the birthday friend demands you put yours on immediately, comply.
3. Prepare birthday friend’s mug cake of choice, in the mug he always uses when he comes to your house. Blueberry muffins and chocolate chip blondies lend themselves well to this medium. If you’re almost out of everything that’s ok… you’ll only need 5 TBSP of flour, 3 TBSP of sugar, and almost 2 TBSP of butter as your base. If you have enough stuff, you get one too.
4. Set something small enough to hold in your hands on fire. Sing to your birthday friend while making deep, unbroken eye contact. Have him blow out fire.
5. Affix helium balloon to birthday friend’s wrist, neck, or headdress. Wearing the shirts and fueled with sugar, commence outdoor activity involving four-legged animals, wheeled contraptions, or balls.
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